A Very Carbuncle Christmas
by Ashbear
Summary: Rinoa & Squall - A romantic holiday tale. Everybody's favorite green GF forces Rinoa and Squall to reflect upon their relationship. By sending them back to their past, he teaches them to appreciate their future.
1. A Time for Reflections and Velvet Bows

**Author's Foreword/Disclaimer/Warning/Long Ramble**: I have always wanted to write a holiday story. Now in doing this, I broke many of my own rules. Yes it's true. Just about everything I avoid purposely doing in my other stories - I have done in here. Because this is just for pure enjoyment and holiday spirit.

I understand that it is logical in the FFVIII world they might not celebrate Christmas and I'm not here to argue that point either way. (Though when I replayed I noticed Zell called someone a 'Scrooge'. Also Seifer does mention Boy Scouts – Sorry, I found the latter fact rather odd!) I'm here just here to get back to basics and do what I started in the first place – write because I wanted to.

So thank you everybody. This is why most of us started - for the fun and the chance to be ourselves once and awhile. This story to me is the chance to well... take chances... and I thank each and every one of you for the opportunity. Happy Holidays, no matter what day(s) you celebrate. This is my present to you guys.

* * *

_**~ A Very Carbuncle Christmas ~**_

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Chapter One: A Time for Reflections and Velvet Bows

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It wasn't going to be our first Christmas together. In fact, this year we would be celebrating our fifth. If you wanted to get technical, it would actually be our _sixth_. It's just that the first Christmas we knew each other was before the whole ordeal with Ultimecia. It was back when Squall still considered me as a client of Garden's, or better yet, 'a mere annoyance' as he often states. Trust me, Commander Leonhart can be all about rules and technicalities in any given situation. I know this from experience.

Still, that side of his personality never detracts from his good points. The two sides rather balance each other out once you get used to them... and master the ability to calmly walk away before wanting to strangle him. Which again, I have found myself doing more often than I'd ever care to admit. But I would never trade our relationship for anything in the world. Anything. Ever.

Plus, self-mediation has forcibly become my new favorite pastime. Who would have guessed that one six years ago? I sure wouldn't have.

Believe me, I'm extremely thankful for everything I have. This is the time of the year that you start reflecting on all those little things in life - both the good and the bad, though the holidays have been becoming increasing difficult over the last few years. Honestly, I'm not sure why. I should be happy. I have every reason in the world to be happy. Why on earth shouldn't I be? I've been living in the greatest place for the last six years. I have best friends who would literally sacrifice their lives for mine. No, that isn't right... I couldn't even begin to classify what our group shares as mere 'friendship.' We are family; we are far beyond anything I would define as friends.

And of all the things I have to be thankful for - I have Squall. I wouldn't, I_ couldn't_, even try to define everything that man is to me: he's a boyfriend, a best friend, a knight. He is everything. He is also the person who drives me to the brink of sanity on almost any given day.

In short, I love him for everything he is. What else is there to possibly say?

I know he was never much one for holidays or any type of celebration. I think I knew this fact from before I 'officially' even met him. I've never tried to push him. Though, sometimes, I know that friction between us becomes inevitable. Our worlds collide and we both try our best, but somehow... fire and ice, oil and water, or whatever other cliché you want to insert here. You get the idea – _we are opposites_.

So, in some unspoken truce between us, every Christmas Eve he gives in and lets everyone come to his apartment. Of course, I'm just talking about our closest friends. It's a small informal gathering but somehow he knows the gesture holds great meaning to me. Maybe in a way this is the best Christmas presents he gives - without ever having to buy me a thing. I just wonder sometimes if he knows how much I appreciated it.

The tradition, for lack of a better word, started our first Christmas as a couple together. He had agreed to my idea without a single negative comment. I'm thankful for this fact every year. One of these days maybe I should ask him about it. Then again, maybe some of the magic is in the not knowing.

When I first suggested the idea of all of us getting together five years ago, I think I left it open-ended to either of our places - his or mine. True, I live in a small dorm room. But still, there was a part of me that believed that the polite thing to do was at least make the offer. He just rolled his eyes in a silent 'whatever' when I suggested my place. No, this gesture wasn't made in anger. It was more like his way of saying, _'I can't believe you just suggested that. You know darn well we're going to end up at my place so why even try to act innocent Rinoa.'_ It was that kind of eye roll. Plus, he knew that I would thank him in my own way that night. That sly dog... I think he got _that_ idea from Irvine, though he would never admit to it in a million years.

Anyway, even with Squall's patented 'eye roll of doom,' tonight has always been one of those silent understandings between us. It's the one time of year that he'll give in to the slightest amount of holiday cheer or the hint of celebration.

Looking in the mirror, I forced a smile struggling to tie a velvet bow in the back of my hair. I'd never been good at tying these stupid things. I always found myself jealous of those girls with really nimble fingers who could tie gorgeous runway model bows in their hair. I cursed myself for not buying some premade hairclip like every other girl from Deling. Damn, I'll just have to have Quistis or Selphie retie it for me when they get to the party. Not like anyone would notice. It is just a velvet bow.

I'm not sure why I feel the need for everything to be perfect for an informal gathering. I guess it was... Well, it was Christmas Eve and I wanted it to be perfect. Even if Squall doesn't believe in traditions, these were some of mine from childhood. The Christmas season was one of the only memories I had left of my mother, though faded and obscured. At this point, the memories might not have even been mine, just ones I had dreamed over the years or watched in films. But still, they were the memories I clung to and….

Why can't I get this bow to tie? Oh well, it's just a stupid piece of fabric anyway. What difference did it make?

I took a moment to stare at the reflection in the mirror. Sometimes I wondered who I was and who I had become. I never thought of myself as a sorceress, rather just plain Rinoa Heartilly - whoever she was… I still didn't know. Like I said, maybe this time of year just made you think a lot about reflections.

I didn't have time for self-analysis and life changing revelations right now. I absentmindedly brushed some of Angelo's stray hairs from my sweater wondering why I'd chosen to purchase a black cardigan. The canine's fur contrasted with it like night and day, light and dark, again, insert your cliché of choice in here – you get the idea.

I glanced back at my furry companion who was stretched into a lazy semicircle. The 'wooly princess' raised two eyebrows at me like_ I_ had the audacity to disturb her beauty sleep. Sometimes I wonder what goes through that dog's mind. Then on the same note, I'm sure glad I have no idea.

Really, I am.

Angelo and I have lived in this cozy dormitory now for over six years. We've always been happy here; we've never taken it for granted. Never once have we asked to move into anything bigger. The small room was still more of a home than anywhere in that empty mansion with Caraway. You can have all the possessions in the world and still have nothing. Sometimes, I wondered if he ever understood that after my mother died. Though the General and I were on better terms now, things were... well, for the most part and for the lack of better term... civil.

But tonight was not the night for dwelling on that. Tonight was a night for the positive. Tonight was the night for my friends, my adoptive family. Tonight was for Squall.

* * *

So here I am, now standing outside Squall's door. Even after all these years I feel a certain nervousness after knocking. You would think that I'd get over this by now. Sometimes it is worse than others, tonight is one of _those _times. I honestly think it stems from my desire that everything go smoothly for Christmas Eve. Again, it's that part of me that is holding on to those traditions of childhood, distorted as they may be. This time of year I start thinking about everything more and more, especially those left behind. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know... Sometimes I overanalyze everything. I know that. I just wish he'd answer the door; this casserole dish in my hands is getting very awkward to hold.

I quickly glanced down at Angelo in an attempt to distract my thoughts. She, unlike her mistress, was sitting patiently waiting. I don't think she cares one way or another. I mean, she's just looking intently at the wood grain pattern on the door or maybe she's just anticipating it opening. I don't know. Whatever she's doing, she's sure a lot calmer than me – though that's not saying a lot. In five years one would think that I could at least walk into my boyfriend's apartment without feeling like an anxious teenager – I'm twenty-two now.

I smiled nervously as the door opened and saw Squall standing there with a dumbfounded look on his face. I wondered who he expected.

"Squall."

"Rinoa."

All right, this was just getting weird. Apparently, we now know each other's names, which was a good start, I guess - though this did nothing for my nervousness. I felt my hands grasp the glass pan a little tighter than what would be natural in the given situation. I was relieved to see when he finally gave a small smile, though you would have to know him like I do to know 'that' is an actual smile.

"Is there something wrong?" I finally managed, balancing the dish as I moved past him.

Though you must understand - Angelo somehow feels the need to be the first to walk into any room once the door opens. I think this is a dog thing, and unfortunately, a Selphie thing. Sometimes those two battle it out. More than once it has ended up with both of them lying on the floor after tripping in their haste. I really do love my friends and all their idiosyncrasies – I wouldn't trade any of them for the world.

I could feel Squall walk up beside me as I set the dish down on the countertop.

"You... you cooked?"

"Oh, is that what _that_ was about back there? I get it now Mr. Leonhart, you say one comment about my cooking and you'll be sorry."

"Why will I have to eat it?"

Men, well more specifically, "Squall!" I yelled in mock anger and hurt. He knew I was kidding, just as I knew he was too... at least, I hoped. All right, my cooking does... well... usually suck, but this is simple enough even I can make it! I got the recipe from the back of a soup can. A soup can! Three steps - I don't think even I can mess that up… at least I'm desperately hoping.

He doesn't react to my little outburst. In fact, for the most part, if you didn't know better he seems rather apathetic towards a lot of different things. He really isn't. He just doesn't express emotion unless he feels it's necessary. Though sometimes if he does, it catches me off guard, and only makes the moments even more special.

Leaving him in the kitchen, I started to make my way into the dining area. Granted his apartment isn't huge, but honestly, I have to say that Garden did a wonderful job. The sheer cabinet and storage in the place is amazing. From the bathrooms to the two bedrooms - they have utilized every available area. It's honestly a packrat's dream, which is why the irony is lost on Squall living here. I often wondered why Cid had designed so much cupboard space for a guy, who at one time, literally owned a single plate, a glass, and a mismatched set of utensils. I figured Edea had a say on the blueprints, sometime that was the only viable explanation.

As I headed towards the cabinets, I felt a slight tug on my wrist. I gasped more in surprise that I hadn't heard him than the actual contact. Sometimes Squall and his catlike abilities scared me. He had that stalking-his-prey technique down to a near science. I turned to face him and looked him in the eyes. Honestly it was the first time since I walked in that I _really_ looked at him. I smiled as our gazes met and felt that stupid nervousness again about wanting the whole evening to be absolutely perfect. I know… I have nothing to worry about, because no matter what, it is already perfect with him at my side. I just have to keep reminding myself of this during the times that he isn't looking into my eyes.

"Rinoa, do you think that Angelo would be more comfortable here tonight?"

I buried my face onto his chest and rested my head on that spot between his neck and chin. It was a place that almost felt like it was made just for me, though I'm sure that doesn't make sense to anyone else. I love how my head just fits there like a pillow. All right, a lumpy pillow, but a pillow nonetheless. I found myself smiling inwardly as I felt content just leaning against him. Maybe it was these simple moments that made everything else in the week seem worthwhile. It was the silence in between all the words - the moments between all the touches - that we understood each other without having to say a single thing.

'Angelo,' in simple terms, had become _our code_. Squall still could never come out and ask me to spend the night with him. I guess there was that fine line between needing and dependency that he was afraid of crossing, maybe this was the balance he could live with. Either way, I never pushed the issue... at least seriously. So instead of just asking me if I wanted to spend Christmas Eve with him, he had come up with this elaborate ploy…

Well again, maybe 'elaborate' was stretching the truth. Squall's imagination was a little on the nonexistent side. Let's face it - Angelo would be happy anywhere there was a fluffy comforter, an overflowing bowl of dog kibble, and hair free water. Okay, maybe that last one was more _my_ wish. It just grossed me out every time I saw one of her hairs floating in there and her tongue lapping dangerously close to it. Yuck! Yes, I have issues, not the dog. **I know**. That is so not the point of this conversation, let's get back to the point: Angelo simply didn't care which room she slept in.

"I think Angelo would love that. While we're here, do you think we can put some milk and cookies out for any late night visitors in red suits?" I don't think my sarcasm will be lost on him. It never is, though half of the time he wisely decides to ignore it.

"Don't push it." He smiled leaning down and kissing the side of my neck, just below my ear. "But Rin, I don't think you've been_ that _good this year anyway. You'll be lucky if he leaves an M-Stone in your stocking."

Darn it, I was starting to look forward to those cookies. "Look who's talking," I replied playfully wrapping my arms around him and he instinctively followed suit.

Oh well, at least I'll be staying with him tonight. Not that I had any doubts that I would be. Though it would be nice if one of these times he'd just ask me outright, better yet, if it came to a point where I wouldn't feel the need to have to be invited. But all in all, I'm still a guest here at Garden. Believe me that thought is always in the back of my mind. Like I said earlier, I'm thankful for everything I have and I would never push anything.

"Whatever," he smirked under his breath pulling me closer. He then found the need to whisper seductively in my ear, "Who wants to be good anyhow?"

"And that is exactly why _you _want me to spend the night, isn't it?"

I had to say it, he really left the door wide open on that one, didn't he? Now as much as I wanted to stay in his arms, I really needed to get this place ready before the others showed up. God knows the comments Irvine would make if the food and drinks weren't out by the time they arrived.

"Squall, I need to go find the punch bowl. Everyone's going to get here and nothing's ready!"

"And somehow that is my fault, right?" he asked grinning as he ran a hand through his hair. If he thought his naïve attempt at getting out of helping me was going to work, he was so very wrong.

"Yes, yes it is," I stated simply. "Remember, it's not like I live here."

I bit my tongue after saying that. Maybe it was best I just leave sleeping dogs lay after that comment. Or sleeping lions, or sleeping grumpy commanders, or whatever he was going to be at the moment. I could never tell the many moods of Squall Leonhart – even my Magic 8 Ball had labeled him a lost cause. Which right now, I think my brain was also MIA, because I really didn't mean to say _that_.

So in a vain effort to hopefully drop the subject completely, I moved across the room and started digging through the 'Leonhart' dining room cabinets. I tell you, the interior of these things are arranged in some sort of sequential, alphabetical, numerological, code from hell. Actually, I have no idea how they are arranged, but somehow they are in perfect rank and file like little military crystal soldiers. It's rather eerie. By height, color, mass, volume - well, again, you get the idea. This man needs some form of entertainment in his life beside the thrill of arranging cabinets.

I didn't see the punch bowl in the first set of lower cupboards so I moved on to the next. You would have thought that he would have known where the very large and obtrusive punch bowl was stored, but apparently not. Maybe he missed the memo he sent to himself on that subject, who knew. After I made it to the final set of lower doors, I sighed in exasperation.

"All right Squall, I give up. It used to be down in these cabinets, right?"

When I saw that wry smile on his lips, it dawned on me what he had been doing this entire time: watching me. As I had been bending over trying to find the punch bowl, he had the nerve to be watching me!

"No, it's always been directly above the first set of cabinets you looked in."

"Damn you Squall," I squinted at him. Oh so help me… If tonight wasn't Christmas Eve, this would be one of those moments that I would just walk away. "Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"

"Because, who wants to be good anyhow? Plus_** I**_ was quite enjoying myself, thank you. Don't you always tell me that I need to do that more?"

Did I mention I love this man?


	2. When Carbuncle Collides

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_**~ Chapter Two: When Carbuncle Collides ~ **_

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Somehow, and I'm not sure how, Squall and I had managed to get the last of the glassware out before everyone showed up. Maybe I should be thankful for his anal retentive cabinet organization system; it actually came in handy after the punch bowl incident. You would think I'd know where everything was by now, but again, this was only a once a year event and each year I wanted to add 'just one more touch.' Of course, with each new 'addition' came another silent eye roll behind my back, but that's all right, I love him for it. I know he's doing it, he's not _that_ sly.

"Hey Squall, where, _when_, did you get all this stuff anyhow?" I asked not really sure why. I mean, six years ago he only owned one set of silverware. I think the fact that my boyfriend owns three gravy boats is extremely unsettling, more for me than him.

"Commander's Day gifts," he answered completely monotone as if it was the most obvious answer in the entire world.

He then placed a pair of matching crystal salt and pepper shakers in the center of the table. Where did he get those? I mean... _where_! I have cardboard ones and those little packets I've taken, _I mean_ _borrowed_, from the cafeteria... but you didn't hear that, okay?

"You're kidding me, right?" I asked looking up at him. He smiled as someone knocked at the door. Leaning down, he gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I do hope he was kidding about Commander's Day.

I inhaled deeply taking in all of the surroundings - the apartment looked just amazing. It was the moments between twilight and the anticipation of night that the Christmas lights seemed the most magical; this was always the best time to me. His tree was simple, true. I was the one who picked it out, put it up, decorated it, and everything else, surprised? The tiny white lights sparkled like vibrant fireflies and for a moment, I felt transported into another world.

I really did love his place. I'm not sure if I ever told him that in so many words. It always had a homey but elegant quality, and again, the best built-in storage space anybody could possibly imagine. Oh, back to the decorating, I'm not saying he didn't help, but the fact is he works extremely long hours and they usually keep him from doing more mundane things like the decorating. He did give permission for me to come in and set up the tree and garlands. Of course, I was more than willing to do it.

There was a knock at the door and I felt glad for the distraction. I don't want to start worrying about tonight or taking things too seriously. I just wanted to have fun and not get caught up in formalities and pretenses. I knew none of my friends cared, but for some reason, I just can't shake it. I really need to get over this.

Squall answered the door, being the closer between the two of us. He actually seemed sincere as he greeted his guest. That was one thing that had changed over the years, nothing really seemed forced. If he didn't want to do something, you will know it, trust me.

"Quistis!" I went over when I saw her walking through the entranceway. I was trying to be the polite hostess and offer my assistance reaching for the Crockpot in her hands. You would think that I haven't seen her for days, instead of at lunchtime, but still I'm so excited. I just love Christmas Eve - there is something so magical in the air, something that defies explanation.

"Thank you Rin, do you have any more room in the kitchen for that?"

"She cooked." I noticed how my boyfriend tried to nonchalantly state that fact as he took a sip of wine from his glass.

"Ahh... that's... nice."

"Not meat or poultry," Squall added as if in understanding Quistis' unspoken concern about some possible undercooked or diseased dish. He had the audacity to take another sip without even looking at me!

Gah! I am not sure how my cooking became the big joke of the entire group. I wish they'd fixate on something else for the evening. I was about to come back with some extremely witty retort when someone else knocked, or rather pounded, on the door.

This only meant one thing - Zell.

The next few minutes followed the traditional pattern when guests arrived at a dinner party. Quistis and I set out the remainder of the hors d'oeuvre as everyone talked and laughed at nothing in particular. Even Squall seemed to be having a good time, which he usually did on Christmas Eve... I don't know how much of this was for him, or how much of it was for me. One of these days maybe I would find out, but right now, I was thankful for what I had. It was still just the four of us there and we were casually standing around waiting for the last two members of the gang to arrive.

Irvine and Selphie – now what can I say about those two?

First, you must understand they are usually fashionably late. That is well... just them. It's not on purpose, just more the casual ebb and flow of their lives – Wait, I must note, I mean that only applies to their _non-military _lives. Second, well, it's my personal opinion that Selphie gets easily distracted. (Remember being the first through the door like Angelo theory, multiply that times ten. It's not a bad thing, it's a Selphie thing.) Lastly, those two were the first of 'our group' to be married. I know it was rather shocking. Honestly... it was to everyone, but in all truthfulness, it has worked out fantastically and I'm so very glad. Yes, sometimes it is difficult for me to think about, I'll admit. But again, they are them, and Squall and I are... _us_ - and some things are just meant to be that way.

This will be their second Christmas as husband and wife. Last year, as a group, we told them we didn't want them to feel obligated to spend the evening with us. As each year passes we're all growing older and we understand that change is inevitable. As much as we might want it to stay the same, it can't. We understood they needed to start their own traditions. Yet, they emphatically stated that we are their family - time and circumstances will never change that and they would continue to spend Christmas Eve with us. Just for the simple fact that it was _their tradition_, to be with their family.

That meant so much to me.

And as if on cue, there was a knocking at the door. I guess in a way, I'm glad that they didn't change, that some things stayed the same in this world where everything was always so unpredictable. Though, when the door opened, I was actually surprised to see Irvine enter first. He did appear to have ungodly amounts of food stacked in his hands. Apparently, Selphie had found it necessary to cook one 'slab' of every major meat group.

Zell shall be pleased – very pleased indeed.

Next, Selphie bounded in the door wearing an insane amount of yellow. Sometimes I wondered where she found so many different shades. I mean, was there some underground store in the area, or was this just some grand search off the internet? Who knew... then again, maybe that was one of those questions of the universe better left unanswered.

Then it happened... that unpredictability in my otherwise predictable night.

Two long teal green ears with the tips of dark blue peered from outside the doorframe. It was then I could see the slight glow of a ruby from the dimly lit hallway. I already knew who it was; he had me at the glowing ruby... The hyperactive Guardian Force bounded through the doorway in the same fashion as either Selphie or Angelo would have. However, he became a little more cautious as he moved into the apartment, apparently the GF knew his presence was unknown (and to one - unwanted) to majority of the room's inhabitants.

"Carbuncle! Little green dude, my main man, what's S'up!"

Zell never has had a problem expressing himself.

"What the hell is _it_ doing here?"

And apparently, neither did my boyfriend in this particular situation. Carbuncle sensed Squall's aggravation and jumped behind Selphie's legs sticking his head out, and then slanting his eyes at the commander.

"I'm watching him for the weekend, while Cid and Edea are spending the holiday at Shumi Village." I suddenly felt bad for Selphie as she patted the GF on the head. I knew she was trying so hard. I mean, Squall and Carbuncle didn't exactly have the best compatibility, again enter your cliché of choice here...

Actually, from now on, I think I'll just start saying: '_like Squall and Carbuncle.' _I think that comparison pretty much says it all.

"He's a damn GF, can't he take care of himself?"

Selphie gasped covering Carbuncle's long ears as Squall slammed his glass down. I closed my eyes. I wanted to tell my boyfriend it was all right, really, it was just Carbuncle. Sure the GF could be... well him, but it wasn't worth this.

Most importantly, it was Christmas - couldn't Squall just let the hostility go for one night? I really didn't want to be the one to say it. Some things I just wanted him to figure out on his own. If I had to say them, then well... I think it was rather pointless in the first place. I'll give Squall a few minutes to calm down, to let this shock wear off. If anything, like I said earlier, my boyfriend has two sides, they balance each other out. Somewhere that rational side better be ready to kick this one's butt.

"Squall Leonhart! Don't use such language in front of him!" Selphie gasped in horror. I knew Selph was going to take this hard. She had a soft spot for Carbuncle. We all did, except for Commander Difficult.

I'm not even sure where their animosity began. Maybe again, that is one of the many questions I should ask my knight instead of letting it fester under the surface. I have a tendency to do that, then again, so does he. Then, like a dormant volcano that finds new life, our personalities erupt into a firestorm and it's not pretty... for anybody... And somehow, I fear that will happen soon. It's been too long.

...And where do I get these analogies from? I think I need to lay off watching the National Geographic Channel for a while.

It was then that several high-pitched sounds resonated from Carbuncle as his ears pinned downward. He did not look pleased.

"Squall, I think you have just been cussed out in _Carbunclese!" _

Please Zell, don't egg him on. Just let it rest. I found myself unable to do anything but stand in one spot and smile. I tend to have that habit when I'm nervous or upset, or in this case, _both. _

"Isn't that about the third language you've been told off in this week, commander?"

Et tu' Irvine? Everyone was lightheartedly laughing about the situation, and even Carbuncle was loosening up a little, maybe there was hope for this yet. Okay, true, it was hard to tell his moods. Instead of body language, it is more or less 'ear language,' you have to watch. Well his ears and that glowing um.. gem thingy lodged in his forehead.

Just never ever... and I mean... _ever_... let that thing get to a vibrant ruby color, or it is bad. _Very bad_. Simple enough? **Very bad. **

"Actually, it's the fourth," Squall corrected taking a step toward me. "It comes with territory."

He stopped and looked down at me for a second. "Hey." Was he really handling the situation this well? Or had someone slipped something into his drink, I vote the latter.

"Hey back," I replied not mentioning a word about our green, vertically challenged, energetic, Guardian visitor.

Moving behind me, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders pulling me back towards him. Still, I found myself facing everyone as we continued talking, but personally, I was much happier this way. Though once when Zell was going on about something, Squall did lean down and do this weird combination between a hiss and a whisper in my ear.

"You know how much I love you... but keep that cretin away from me or I'm putting him in the blender."

Sometimes I just have to bite my tongue and laugh.

* * *

I watched as the world distorted through my wine glass, and for a moment, everything around me almost made sense. I don't know why. I guess sometimes even the most unlikely, obscured situations can turn out vividly clear. Again, I was transported back to the moments of my childhood; the memories were as clouded and hazy as the scenery surrounding the alcohol. I smiled setting the glass down on the table, wiping my fingers on the napkin. The dinner had gone well and everyone seemed pleased. They even said my potato casserole turned out _eatable_. I guess maybe there are such things as Christmas miracles. Though I think that hardly counts on the grander scale, but I will take what I can get these days.

Oddly enough, for the last few hours, Zell and Carbuncle had kept themselves thoroughly entertained. It might just be me, but I honestly think that someday that the martial artist is going to make one great father, though I'm not sure who is going to be the bigger kid - him or the child. All I can tell you is presently him and Carbuncle were actually playing a game of Cribbage. Don't ask me. I'm totally clueless on that one, moreover, I'm clueless as to why Squall owns a Cribbage board in the first place when the guy won't even play checkers. Either way, I personally draw the line at 'Go Fish' as far as competition goes. At first, I was expecting them to play Triple Triad. Carbuncle is a known master of the game, but then I remembered Squall's 'Anti Triple Triad Law' instated three years ago this Christmas Eve. It was immediately established after the famed 'Irvine vs. Zell' fiasco. It's legendary among Garden. Those two are still waiting their turn in mediation to argue their version of the events.

Up until this point, it had been a typical Christmas Eve, well as typical as you can get with Carbuncle and Selphie making a fort out of the cheese squares during dessert. It was then that the telephone rang. I looked over to Squall who apparently shared the same apprehension as I did. He glanced back at me and I tried to give him a reassuring smile. Maybe we had just been together too long, or could just sense each other's uneasiness, but something about the phone ringing at that moment didn't sit well with either one of us.

I watched in silence as he picked up the receiver; I think I'd forgotten to breathe the last few seconds. I'm not sure what I was envisioning. I mean, everyone I basically knew and loved was already standing in the room with me. In my mind, I knew they were safe, but still, when your boyfriend is the Commander of SeeD, each time the telephone rings it brings on a new set of fears.

I strained to listen to his words. He was talking softly, which from that action alone, I knew something had to be amiss. That was one of those subtle nuances I'd picked up on the longer we had been together.

"Selphie, there's someone on the line for you from Trabia."

Squall never did have the best poker face once you knew how to read him. He gave her a faint smile as he handed her the phone. That right there showed his cards to me, but God, I hoped for this hand to play out for the best. At least I had a better idea what was going on, though now I feared the worse for Selphie.

I watched helplessly as she paced back and forth twisting the phone cord in her fingers. Squall turned to me without saying a word. As a 'Garden Outsider' I knew that this was one of those moments where as commander he couldn't officially say anything, but as a boyfriend he wanted to let me know. I knew his inner conflict, he went through this often. I never wanted his duty to come between us, though it did on many occasions. I just wish he knew that I understood. So instead of waiting for him to come to me, I met him halfway, wrapping my arms around his waist whispering, 'it's all right.' To which he replied, 'It will be.'

A few moments later, Selphie hung up the receiver. I looked back noticing Irvine was holding her tightly in his arms. I'm not even sure when she told Irvine, or if he had just overheard, but somehow he already knew... Truly those two were an amazing couple.

"Guys, Selphie's best friend from Trabia was injured returning from a mission. Lauren didn't want to call us, but one of their mutual friends thought Selphie would want to know. The doctors said they think she'll make it, we're going to head up there tonight."

I guess try as any of us might nobody could escape the dangers in our everyday lives, even on Christmas Eve. Still, I didn't want to think about the worst. I had to remain positive. I mean, right now, Selphie was actually smiling - though I knew a lot of that was for show. That was part of her natural personality and we all loved her for it – she wouldn't be Selphie without it.

"Oh no, Carbuncle! I can't take him with me."

"Selphie, I'd love to watch him, but tomorrow a few students and I have our yearly volunteer work at the shelter. I think it would be extremely difficult."

"It's okay Quistis... I understand."

"I uhh... don't... can't..." You know, Zell seemed... well kinda of '_off' _even for Zell. Though that's not saying much given the situation, I guess. "I have a thing to do with Ma tomorrow. Yeah. Sorry Selph."

"It's okay. I know you get together with your family on Christmas Day."

"Selph, I can watch him, just get your stuff together, all right?"

"Rin, are you sure?"

"Positive... don't even think twice about it, please. You're family to me and this is honestly nothing, I promise."

"You're a life saver, thank you! I will sooo owe you one."

"It's not a problem at all. You care take of Angelo for me all the time." I replied motioning to my dog - who was oblivious to the world curled up by the fireplace. Seriously, a flock of Chocobos could have walked by and she wouldn't have cared right now. I think she was getting soft in her old age of seven.

You know, maybe it was my imagination, but for a second I almost thought I felt Squall's body tense next to me. He had been extremely quiet the last few moments. I don't mean "_Squall Quiet" - _rather, really quiet, beyond all acceptable limitations of his norm. Maybe I should have asked him first, but it was just Carbuncle, how much trouble could he be?

Then again, I was supposed to stay with Squall tonight in his apartment; looking back the polite thing would have been to ask him... Oh damn, he's not going to like this, not one bit. But it's Christmas Eve and he can get over it. He's going to have to... no, this wasn't as planned, but that doesn't take away from anything. I just hope Selphie's friend will be all right. I know how close they'd been during Selphie's years in Trabia - and friends and family are what the holidays are all about.

"Be safe."

I was surprised to hear Squall say the words to Irvine, as he offered his hand to his friend. Part of me felt a wave of relief; my boyfriend could honestly surprise me sometimes. He knew this was important to me and learning to adapt to the challenges life threw at him was making him a stronger person. Yeah, okay, that was the speech I was going to give him a little later, hope it sounded good... Right now, I was just thankful that he was being civil towards our guests before he ended drop kicking Carbuncle off of the balcony... that would come later. I was positive.

Irvine nodded smiling and promised, "I won't let anything happen to Selph. Thanks again for watching Carbuncle. He can be a handful. Plus with your prior... um... '_relationship'_... this means a lot."

Irvine let out a chuckle. Even under the circumstances, everybody in the room found time to laugh. I saw the look of panic cross Squall's face. Ah yes, the Carbuncle incident – ranks right up there with the Triple Triad card game, but that is another story, honestly it really is. Thank you Irvine for bringing up those painful memories, have any open wounds you want to pour some salt into while you're at it?

This was going to be a long night…


	3. War of the Words

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_**~ Chapter Three: War of the Words ~**_

XXXXXXXX

Everyone had left for the night and for or the most part, things had turned out relatively well; both Squall and Carbuncle remained in their neutral corners. I sighed leaning back onto the couch holding a mug of hot cocoa in my hands. The last thing I thought I'd be doing tonight was playing referee between my boyfriend and a Guardian Force... Go figure. Squall was sitting next to me, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he absentmindedly flipped through the television channels. He never really watched TV, but when he did, it would drive me nuts. He tends to flip through each channel like a madman, talk about a short attention span.

Somehow, I don't believe this is how he pictured this night either, but at least we are together. Squall's nemesis sat idly by in the corner busying himself with playing cards. Who knew GFs played solitaire? Maybe again that was only because there were no Triple Triad decks allowed within a two room radius of my boyfriend's apartment.

I watched several news programs fly by at the speed of the remote, then what appeared to be a black and white rerun of a classic holiday movie, and then what possibly could have been… female wrestling in Santa Clause suits? I know in my heart I was glad he hadn't stopped there; it was frightening from the few milliseconds that were already burned eternally into my retinas. Really... it was. Still his channel flipping was driving me nuts, again, normally a time that I would walk away or go meditate quietly in a corner. But, given the holiday, I thought maybe I could strike up some sort of conversation.

…With _**Squall**_, please tell me what was I thinking?

"Squall?"

"Hmm..."

Do you ever get that feeling you shouldn't ask a question, yet your brain feels the overpowering desire to ask it anyhow - no matter how many red flags are going off on your logical side? Exactly. That's what was happening right now and I was ignoring every signal known to humankind, canine-kind, and GF-kind at the moment... I think both Carbuncle and Angelo would have had the foresight not to continue down such an idiotic road. Setting my cocoa on the table, I scooted closer to Squall, resting my cheek on his chest just hoping that he would enjoy the fact we were close together. I felt his fingers start to play with my hair. This was always a good sign, he was relaxed, not to mention, I loved when he did that.

"Can I ask you..." No Rinoa, don't do it! Please... you can still stop yourself! "Squall, why do you dislike Carbuncle so much? I mean... out of all the GFs you never even gave him a chance..."

Damn it girl, now you did it. My words trailed off because somewhere during my question I realized he had stopped moving his fingers.

"I don't want to talk about that." His words felt rather lifeless to me. There was just something in his tone, or lack thereof, that angered me.

"Don't or _can't, _Squall?"

Oh red flag, red flag, red flag... here it was the night before Christmas and what was I doing? Maybe I can just follow up my stupidity with a lovely statement about Laguna being 'father of the year' or Seifer having the looks of an underwear model. Though, Laguna really is a great guy, and Seifer had his moments, but that is _**sooo **_not the point of this.

"Rinoa," he stated my name as if I already knew what he meant.

Yeah buddy, we did that when I arrived here this evening - the whole exchanging of names. Still apparently, he wanted to recap. Please tell me what was making me continue this idiotic conversation? The red flags were now like a snowball going downhill in my mind and I was finding myself covered in the world's most colorful avalanche.

"Squall," I stated bluntly, also to let him know that I really did know his name. I just wanted to hold my ground for once, and maybe get to the bottom of this whole Carbuncle fiasco.

"It's just a simple and honest question," my voice softened as I tried to convey that I wanted to understand. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him. "I'm sorry for asking. Think of this as a Christmas present for me... I just want to understand."

I heard him sigh, not out of anger, but rather frustration. Then his voice spoke calmly and he even started playing with my hair again. Did I miss something here?

"Rin, I actually used to think it was something that was obvious. Maybe it's not right, I've come to understand that, but maybe we just see different on this too."

Well, whatever 'it' was certainly wasn't obvious to me... Obvious was the ruby on Carbuncle's head, Squall's love of all things leather, or Zell's unhealthy fixation on processed meat byproducts. I love my boyfriend more than anything else on this world, but sometimes, I just don't get him.

"I'm going to bed," he flatly stated.

Yeah, this wasn't the night I had pictured and that was really starting to bother me. Somehow, all my other childhood memories came flooding back, the ones _after _my mother had died. The ones that I didn't want to associate with the holidays anymore... The times when I felt alone and the only thing I wanted for Christmas was to feel... well, _wanted_. No, I knew the situation between Squall and I was nothing like that, but still it was hard to convince myself of that - as now I was sitting alone on the holiday. Again. I sat silently as Squall walked in to his bedroom. Reaching for my hot chocolate, I found myself unable to even grip the mug's handle; my hands were trembling so...

But why?

It seemed like a simple enough question to ask him, but the answer was always just out of my reach. How could Squall's loathing of Carbuncle be blatantly obvious? Right now, I felt like the scared little child again, not knowing where to turn.

I was surprised to see two midnight blue eyes gazing directly at me. I'm not even sure when the little guy had stopped playing cards, but he apparently could tell that I was upset. Angelo still lay at the other end of the couch. Sure she could comfort me to a point, but I think that was what was so special about GFs, their ability to understand humans so well - maybe better than we understood ourselves. Carbuncle let out a few sounds. I really wish I knew what he was saying, but right now, it was more the equivalent of feedback on a microphone... and I was just as hopelessly lost.

For the next hour Carbuncle sat next to me, but he never really invaded my personal space. I guess it was hard to explain, it was as if he just wanted me to know that I wasn't alone. And in all honesty, I knew that I wasn't. Squall was a very good person who had trouble expressing emotions at times, but I could never fault him for that. He was Squall after all, the same person I fell in love with all those years ago. The same man I loved more than anything right now.

It was getting late and I just wanted to crawl into bed... maybe tomorrow would be better. What is that line from that old movie… 'Tomorrow is another day?' Well yeah, that again seemed blatantly obvious - why not just say yesterday isn't today... or tomorrow wasn't yesterday? Okay, yes, I needed sleep when I could actually start rationalizing the nonsense I was spouting - that tended to be an extremely bad sign.

I finally grabbed Carbuncle's... hand? Paw? Okay, not really sure what I should classify it as, as his use of opposable thumbs was rather limited. But he did have the dexterity to whip everybody's butt in Triple Triad. So, I think that counts for something on the evolutionary scale. I led him into the guest bedroom and pointed to the bed. Yeah, I think even he could figure out where to go. Still, I felt the instinctual need to play hostess in a place that wasn't mine, and at the moment, I felt more of a stranger in than ever.

Luckily the GF didn't put up a fuss, which I found odd... Selphie had told me stories of trying to babysit him in the past, and he certainly didn't like being placed under some type of sleeping deadline. Maybe it was just the excitement of the upcoming day. Then again, I highly doubted that GFs celebrated holidays... do they? Well, I would have to ask one of the Guardians who actually spoke my language next time I saw them... except Cerberus. A word to the wise, don't ask him..._ hims_? (As I'm never sure how to classify each of his heads), but either way, never ask the three-headed hotdog anything. He's not pleasant without at least six gallons of espresso; even then, it's not a sure bet, just ask Zell about his prior experiences. That alone says enough. Again, that is another story.

* * *

For the umpteenth time tonight, I woke from my restless sleep and turned onto my side. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock silently cursing that decision. Something in my mind kept telling me that Squall wasn't as asleep as he appeared to be. Then again, sleeping next to me right now couldn't have been a picnic. I think he should be grateful that he didn't own a waterbed, as he would have suffered from motion sickness within twenty minutes of me crawling in bed. So I figured, why not... maybe at least we could get this out in the open. Maybe there would still be a way to salvage this Christmas, Carbuncle or not. I sighed loudly. He's not stupid, trust me, that was the international sign of 'Wake up and talk to me, I'm still upset with you.'

"Yes, Rinoa... I'm awake."

"I can't sleep," I shot back. Let's see if Commander Obvious can figure this one out.

"I take it you're still upset."

Bingo... I sighed again, rolling over onto my back. "I'm... I'm... I just don't know what I am anymore."

"Disappointed?"

I didn't know, maybe I was. I just wish we could have started the whole evening over again. Maybe this time I would heed the advice of those stupid red flags. "No Squall, I don't think so... I just don't know." It was true, I really didn't know what I was anymore, well beside confused, but that pretty much was the norm for me anymore.

"Really, honestly?"

I was just about to answer him when all of a sudden a flash of light encased the room. I thought maybe it was one of those freak wintertime thunderstorms, or maybe that he blew a fuse... well, literally his apartment blew a fuse, not Squall personally. Though that too has been known to happen.

"What the he-" I started to mumble sitting upright, but before I could finish my statement I felt as if the world moved beneath me... again, literally here. The next thing I remember was hitting the ground with extreme force. I cursed the invention of tile floors at the moment - not to mention I wondered if my tailbone had made it through in one piece.

"Rinoa!" I heard Squall call out. I could tell that he was worried. "Are you here, are you all right?"

"Of course I'm here," I muttered still in pain. What was his problem? Where did he think I went in less than three seconds? Then the realization hit me, just about as hard as the stupid marble floor... Squall had wall to wall carpeting in his bedroom. How had I just landed on tile?

I heard him wrestling with the covers and spring from the bed, he threw open the sash... Oh wait, wrong story. Anyway, I haven't heard him move that fast since I told him I spilled red wine on his carpet... that was fun. Who knew he had such an aversion to stained rugs? I suddenly felt his hand wrap around my bicep and help me to my feet. Still there was a way in which he had done this that made me feel like something wasn't right. He almost sounded relieved when I answered him.

Standing up, I tried to regain my bearings... All right, how much had I had to drink tonight? For a moment I thought I was in a SeeD dorm. I squinted my eyes and looked around... I was in a SeeD dorm! I knew this dorm... it had been Squall's. He left this room over three years ago, right after they built his apartment.

"Where are we?" I found myself asking, partly because at that moment, I just wanted to hear something, even if it was the sound of my own voice.

"I think... I think it's my room. My _old_ room."

"Yeah, that is what I kinda thought," I answered skeptically still looking around. I think he started holding me tighter, which I was honestly glad for. At least if I was dreaming, or hallucinating, or even in a drunken stupor - I was creative enough to imagine my boyfriend there comforting me.

"It's seven in the morning." I heard him whispering softly.

"Wasn't it just like four?" I'm not sure why I said it. I think the time issue was the least of our problems right now.

"Yeah... yeah it was."

"Where are we?" I found myself asking that question again. All right, I guess we had already established this, rather in the same manner we had established our names the night before. Wait a minute... I **was** still Rinoa right?

"You're Squall Leonhart, right?" I think I said that a little too anxiously. I could see his brow furrow as my eyes were starting to adjust to the dimly lit room.

"Who else would I be, Rinoa?" He sounded rather irritated by my question. Yeah... better just let that one slide.

"Sorry," I mumbled, "I'm just slightly confused."

"Me too," his tone softened. I think he was just having a hard time understanding the situation. At least he wasn't the one to hit the floor...

"Come on Rin... let's see what's going on. Stay close to me."

I would have laughed at the irony of his statement, but right then, I wasn't going to detach for the world. Holding his arm in a near death grip, we moved over to the built-in desk. He flipped on a small light and started thumbing through a small organizer that he used to have... I distinctly remember throwing that away several years ago... this was... just beyond weird.

He closed the book after reading a few pages. I really wasn't paying that much attention as I had been scanning the room - realizing the familiarity of it. It was kinda like coming home... well, maybe in a twisted, demented, parallel universe.

I think it was that last thought that horrified me. I suddenly forgot how to breathe as I buried my head into his shoulder. "Ultimecia?" I finally managed to rasp out.

"No..." His answer was rather definite and I felt extremely relieved at that moment. Still, I knew something was... well slightly askew.

"Ellone?" Okay, I knew she had the ability to send people's mind back in time... but unlike the times Squall told me about, we were in complete and total control of our own actions. At least... I thought I was. Wait... I better check. So I hoped up and down like a bunny just to make sure I was really in control.

"Rinoa, what are you doing?"

"Um... yeah..." I managed. Okay, I just established that I was in control, and as usual, I came off looking rather foolish proving my theory. "Just checking to see if I could-"

"Jump up and down?" he asked rather dryly.

"Yeah, good news Squall, I can."

I'm actually glad he didn't reply to that. I could see him shaking his head as he scanned a few more items on the desk. Somehow, I already knew the look that was on his face.

"Come on, we have to get out of here." He turned off the light, closed the book, and we headed for the door. Still, his lack of letting me in on the current situation was rather disturbing. I think he just had made some breakthrough or discovery and didn't feel like sharing at that moment.

"What is-?" I felt his hand softly cover my mouth.

"Shhh... I'll tell you what's up, just no words right now." I nodded, still confused, but I did trust him with all my heart. He wouldn't be telling me to do something if it wasn't important. He reached down grabbing my hand and led me to the front door. Part of me found it awfully sexy when he went into commander, military mode, then again the fact that he was going into SeeD mode was also alarming.

So I followed him as he opened the door scanning the hallway. He pointed some gestures and I nodded... I think I was supposed to understand them, but again, not a trained SeeD here. I just figured them to be: follow me, be quite, lay low, and move with extreme caution. All right, maybe I'd seen one too many war movies, but I think that covered all the basics of 'Squall stealth mode.'

We moved quickly through the hall and I couldn't quite shake the sensation something was really wrong. Some things just looked different, but yet, the same. It's like going home again after years of being away... but I hadn't been away from Garden, I'd lived here for the last five years. Oh my god that was it! This was _before_ they remodeled the rooms... this was before they painted it a _darker_ gray... This was definitely the place I had been in five years ago and that was—

"Whoa," I inadvertently said as I felt Squall pull me rather forcefully into a small room. He closed the door rather quickly as it dawned on me we were now standing in a closet. A closet! I heard him lock the door and move away, pulling me deeper into the supply room. He reached up and turned on a light. I guess he had been in here before, maybe? Wasn't sure, but he seemed to know it awfully well... just another odd thing to add to this day... night? I wasn't sure what it was at this moment.

"You can talk again," he said as if it was completely normal to be locked in a supply closet. He let go of me and leaned back on a few shelves for support. I stood there stunned as his hand reached over to his forehead like he was in deep concentration about something. Do you think it would dawn on him to explain anything to me??? No, instead he was standing there rubbing his temples. I sighed knowing he wasn't going to tell me a darn thing. So my next words were probably going to be pretty obvious to even him.

"Squall, what's going on?"

"I knew you were going to ask that."

I could have screamed! Then why didn't you just tell me buddy? All right, breathe Rinoa, breathe. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down, smiling I tried to hide my growing annoyance. "Then can you please enlighten me, before I think I have completely lost my sanity."

"Rinoa **it is** Christmas morning." Oh and he claims that he's not the obscure one... Seriously, I'm going to lunge for his jugular in a second. "Actually Rin, I think specifically it's Christmas... from five years ago. Our first Christmas together."

"Um... yeah... _**what**_?" Sanity don't leave me now, I need you. Please?

"I actually remember this morning," he stated scratching the back of his neck. "I remember coming back to my room... and the bed was unmade and I was positive someone had gone through my planner. Back then, I actually thought you had something to do with it," he chuckled softly. "I guess in a way I was right."

He was laughing, seriously... laughing... and I was so very lost, yet he found some humor in this. I really wish it had been him that had hit the floor in a dramatic thud a few minutes ago, darn it.

"Okay please!" I begged in utter confusion. "I am so lost... I just don't get it."

"Come here," he instructed as he turned off the light and led me forward unlocking the door. "Don't say anything, just watch... _and no commenting_." I was about to ask what that last part meant, but figured that 'comment' would just play into his hand. I could make it through without a word. Darn it, I'll show him.

"If I remember correctly..."

He slowly opened the door a crack. I could feel him behind me. I guess it was good that I was a quite a bit shorter than him, this way we could both be looking out the door like a pair of idiots. I thought I could handle seeing just about anything.

…I was wrong.


	4. Deck the Halls with Tail’s of Carbuncle

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_**~ Chapter Four: Deck the Halls with 'Tail's' of Carbuncle ~**_

XXXXXX

There _**we **_were!

We… as in Squall and I! We'd been walking down the hall together. Well, the 'we' from five years ago. Because 'older us' was currently trapped in a supply closet. I watched 'younger me' pull 'younger Squall' by his sweater. I could see this action caught Squall off guard… I mean _younger Squall_ off guard.

This is soo confusing, not to mention weird beyond belief, to even me – and I'm here!

Anyway 'younger Squall' momentarily lost his balance and then _**'I'**_ playfully moved him against the wall. I watched in horror as 'younger me' looked down both ends of the hallway before capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. I think I now see where my Squall's 'no commenting' thing came into play, because... this was just beyond creepy and wrong.

Oh… so wrong.

I think we should have stopped watching, I mean we were invading their_… our_ privacy. Still there was just something so innocent about the way younger us was acting, or guilty, or something that I couldn't place my finger on; but it felt like watching two entirely different beings. I don't remember the last time I did something as spontaneous as that.

Sure, five years ago our relationship was all new, not that it was 'old' now. I just didn't have this overwhelming need to accost Squall out in the hallway anymore. I think I suddenly realized how aggressive I used to be... I think I actually saw fear in his eyes. Not to mention, I wanted to cry at my horrid fashion sense, but again, that is _so_ not the point.

It wasn't like Squall to allow me to kiss him in the hallway. I think he only let me that day was because it was Christmas and he didn't want me pouting. Though, looking back on it now... _literally_... it wasn't exactly the way I remembered, which was also becoming a disturbing thought. I guess you never really do want to see your romantic memories from the 'other side.' The fear in your boyfriend's eyes puts new perspective on the 'romance' aspect. How in Shiva's perfectly placed icicles did I miss that back then?

I could feel Squall (um, that would be my _current _Squall, I guess) move me slightly out of the way, closing the door, and making sure not to attract attention. Again, I could hear the locking mechanism before he turned on the light. Wait, why did this door lock from the inside? Never mind, at this point, it's the very least of my worries!

Anyway, I wanted to look up at Squall, but there was just this weird embarrassment from what we'd just witnessed. Do you think it would be appropriate for me to apologize now for my behavior out in the hallway or was it rather a lost cause five years later?

I was happy to hear him say something first, because I was still at a loss.

"Yeah Rinoa, I kind of felt like somebody was watching us while we were _**busy **_back then... the truth is rather disturbing."

"Very," I finally murmured, not with my usual enthusiasm.

Why did he have to emphasize _**"busy,"**_ couldn't he have just let that one slip by…. No, of course not. He liked to watch me suffer. Oh well, I guess I did have it coming. He could have said so much worse…

"Squall, so what is exactly going on?"

"Well, I think I'm beginning to understand. And when we get home, **I am** going to put that green cretin in the blender."

He actually sounded rather angry. I think all of a sudden things started to make a little sense. Very little, but it was at least a grain of hope in my sea of ignorance.

"Carbuncle did this?"

"Welcome to the wonderful world of GFs," he stated. It almost sounded like he was getting angrier as each second passed.

"I didn't think he could…. how did he get this power? Does this mean we're stuck here - five years in the past? Not to mention that we are actually spending our Christmas in the hall closet!?"

"I hope that little bastard knows how much work I have... I'm going to kill him."

"You what?"

I wanted to yell at Squall, forgetting about the enormity of the situation and the possible consequences of getting caught. I think my mind completely forwent the fact that I was spending my damn holiday among janitorial supplies, or that we may be stuck here indefinitely, or even the 'how' of the situation. The only thing my mind could fixate on was that Squall just said that he had work to do.

Maybe there was enough room in the blender for two…

"I have a ton of work Rinoa. Projected budget reports are due for every department by year's end. Do you know how many that is? Not to mention the everyday stuff piling up on my desk because I didn't work most of yesterday."

"Oh," I managed before biting my lip. Seriously, I bit a little too hard until it started to bleed, but at least it kept me from calling my boyfriend all the colorful adjectives I wanted to use to describe him at the moment – and I'm not referring to blue, orange, or any 'color related adjectives' of that sort.

"He's dead. He's just so dead," Squall mumbled kicking the bucket. No, no, no… not dying, I mean literally 'kicking a bucket' - a plastic bucket happened to be in the corner. "I'm going to string him by those pointy things that pass as ears on that thing that passes as his head."

All right, I'm going to say what I'm thinking... red flags be damned. But seriously, where is Squall going to run off to? I mean, we're stuck in a closet, maybe he can go hide under a shelf or something to get away from me. Not to mention he can't go back to his room because well, younger us is in there doing… um… we're….

You know what, never mind what younger us is doing. Let's just say he can't go back to his room or it would get really, really, really weird and no amount of therapy would help any version of us – younger or older.

So - here it goes. Really. I'm going to say what I'm thinking now. Okay, I'm contemplating saying what I'm thinking… Alright, going to stand by my earlier epiphany that he's basically stuck with me, so here it goes…

"Squall, I think Carbuncle did this for a reason."

"Yeah to bring undue torture onto me."

And there it is folks, the patented 'Squall doesn't get it' response. Maybe if I had just spouted off some obscure military statistics, he'd get it. Because, yah Squall buddy, I know that Carbuncle sits around day after day plotting his revenge against you. Well, he might, but I don't think that's the case here.

I mean, did you see how fast Commander Boyfriend figured out the earlier stuff when we first arrived? Did you see how he managed to stealthy get us to this closet? He even vividly recalled the moves of younger us… logically and strategically this man is pure genius. But toss some idea about personal growth or relationship in the mix and it goes over his head faster than Selphie piloting the Ragnarok. And trust me, that is fast.

Squall, work, Squall, work… gah! It's always about one of the two things. "Of course, it's always about you or work, isn't it?"

Did I just say that out loud? Crap, nobody else here to blame… don't think he'd buy it was younger me, do you? Maybe I'll see if I can fit under that shelf now.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Hold up – if Carbuncle did this insane stunt for a reason, which I honestly believe he did, I'm going to look at this chance as a gift from the little guy. I'm in a closet with Squall, a broom, and a mop – and one of the three is going to listen to everything I have to say. He has nowhere to lock himself into, he can't even use work as an excuse for once in his life.

Good show my little green GF friend, good show…

"Squall, I mean this isn't always about you. Do you want to know what I did last Christmas after you went to work? Angelo and I went back home and watched a nature special about the migration patterns of Funguars. _Funguars _Squall. Everything else on television just seemed to depress me."

See, told you I watched too much of the National Geographic channel. I could give you stats, but I wouldn't want to bore you… though boyfriend over there might really enjoy them. Speaking of Squall, he is upset - I know this… I could tell immediately. You didn't have to be an expert Squall observer to figure it out. Heck, even the mop and broom could tell.

"Rinoa, you make it sound like you had nowhere to go, like you have no other friends or family. Don't go around pinning all your stubbornness on me. I think you're smart enough to realize that you have more options than just waiting around."

Did he just call me stubborn? I mean that is like Ifrit calling the Fire Cavern 'a little warm.' If you want to know the definition of stubborn it starts and ends with the words: Squall and Leonhart. I'll let you figure that one out. I'm just a little upset with _someone_ right now.

"Of course Squall, I know I have other people. I could have gone to Deling with Caraway... but why? Why get on a bus the day before Christmas to be in a place I don't feel like I belong anyhow? A place I haven't belonged in a very long time. I know I could've gone up to Selphie and Irvine's, but it was their first Christmas as a married couple. Zell and his mother would have taken me. I know that or I could've even gone up to Cid and Edea's with the others. You know... it's just... maybe there was a part of me that didn't want to be there - a part of me that kept thinking you'd come back and want to spend the day with me."

"I know you wanted me to."

I think I almost saw a flash of sympathy from him; it was small, but I swear - I saw it. I was still upset about the whole 'work comment' but my irritation was starting to fade… a little.

"Rin, don't make it sound like I didn't spend the morning with you, because I did. But I had to get those papers done; it's the same exact crap this year. Christmas just comes at a bad time for Garden fiscally - so close to end of the year. I've always spent the night before with you and never once have mentioned, or thought, about work. I know how much the Christmas Eve traditions mean to both of us. And last year, I wasn't gone that long Christmas Day - I got away as soon as I possibly could... We watched a movie at your place if I'm not mistaken. I could have stayed in the office all night, hell, I had enough work there, but I didn't want to be there anymore than you didn't want me there. Sometimes, it has to be a little give and take on both ends."

Crap, he had a point. I mean of all the times for him to come up with a valid…

Wait, did he just say that he liked the Christmas Eve traditions? He did say 'both of us' right? He _liked _the traditions? He's never said anything remotely close to that. The only thing I remember was how he didn't believe in holidays or traditions. I remember back to that first year - well technically it was before we were a couple, back when I was just the 'mere annoyance,' that he told me how much he was against it and how traditions were just…

Oh my God, I can't believe how stupid I am. All my memories regarding his feelings were from before we got together. It was before he remembered his family from the orphanage, before Ellone, and even before Laguna - it was before he had _anyone._ He never once said anything after - I mean even when I asked about having the gang over our first year together as a couple he never said no, just gave me the 'eye roll of doom' and I didn't make the connection until now. Could I have been looking at this all wrong?

"Squall, you're right."

"You're right too."

Did he say that? Do I need my ears checked? Maybe I should verify with the mop. I think I better sit before I fall, plus the lack of sleep is starting to take its toll. It just gets you thinking… about memories and how we interpret them, especially as we get older. Maybe it does give me a little hope with my father. Did I just say that? Yeah… I did, I actually called him father.

Another Christmas miracle, I guess.

I was being abnormally quiet, Squall was just being – normally quiet. I was surprised when he joined me on the floor. I mean, I figured he'd be making a strategic plan out of the latex gloves or something. I know he wanted to get back to Garden… Well, back to our Garden. Oh, damn this time-loop-paradox-thingy is just so confusing!

Still, this whole situation has made me stop and reflect about how much Squall and I have changed over the last five years. I mean, what I just saw between younger us… we don't have 'that' anymore. Sure, I still get nervous when I wait for him; I guess that's a good sign. Yet, I saw the passion in our younger-selves' eyes, and well… here _we_ are sitting in a closet.

"Do you remember this Christmas?"

I was surprised he asked, maybe we both were thinking along the same lines.

"I thought I did. It's different looking back at it now." Well as long as we're on the subject, I might as well ask him. Right?

"Squall, I've been wanting to know, why did you originally agree to have everyone over to your place?"

I wasn't sure if he was going to answer. I mean we talk, but we don't always 'talk.'

"Honestly Rinoa, I'm not sure. At first, I'd say it was for you, or because I didn't need to hear you go on about it if I didn't say yes – but the more I thought about, the more I really wanted to. The fact it was at my place made no difference, it was more – it was because for the first time something like that actually felt – right."

I had to smile. I might still a little annoyed, stuck in a closet, and starting to get extremely tired due to sleep deprivation, but at least I felt a connection to the past, more important a connection to understanding Squall. Of course, he had to make one final comment on the matter…

"Still Rinoa, I can't believe you asked 'your place or mine.' I mean, if we wanted to feel like overdressed sardines, your place would have been perfect."

He just rolled his eyes! I can't believe, five years later and he's still doing it. At least he didn't do it behind my back this time. Oh, I'll give him something to roll his eyes about.

"Whatever," I answered in mock irritation. He smiled and I knew that any hostility or angry feelings lingering had been forgotten. I pretended to be upset and crossed my arms over my chest turning away. He knew I wasn't mad, even he could see that I could barely keep the smile forming on my lips.

"You know Rinoa, I was innocent before I met you. I think we just witnessed the proof in the hallway."

Innocent my foot. Really. Well, maybe in _that_ respect he was innocent, but still – that's a farfetched statement on his part. Oh, I wanted to say something so badly, he knew I did. It was taking every bit of willpower just to hold back from that comment.

I felt him place his head next to mine, while his chin gently rested on my shoulder. He just sort of sat there a second. I wasn't sure what he was going to say. He actually tried to start a conversation, which for him was a major step.

"It really doesn't seem like we've been together for five years."

I didn't want to lie. I mean, it did in away… and yet it didn't. I rather felt the last few years were almost – stagnant. I'm not sure if that would be the proper word to describe our relationship. This realization certainly wasn't any doing of Squall's - everything I had done was done by my choice. I guess the best I can say is sometimes I really had to stop and think about what **I** really wanted in life.

"I don't know Squall, sometimes it does to me."

Somehow, I think this answer caught him off guard. There was a slight look of surprise followed by him looking away from me. I'm not sure if I upset him or not, or how he took the statement. I just knew it was the truth.

"We've changed a little bit, haven't we?"

He didn't even look at me when he said it. Again, I wasn't sure how I should answer that. I just needed to say what I felt instead of overanalyzing all this in my mind.

"Yes and no." I traced the tile of the floor; it at least kept me occupied for a moment. "There's something to be said about a little risk once in a while."

What I missed most about that couple out in the hall wasn't the passion or the fear – it was simply the newness. The fact like we were ready to take on any challenge that the world threw at us.

"Well, I think that's what I like about our relationship, it's comfortable."

"_Comfortable?"_ I shouldn't have repeated that word; seriously, I think I'm going to ask for a refund for whoever sold me these red flags, apparently they don't work worth a damn. I better elaborate my point quickly, because I think we're at opposite ends on this one.

"Squall, believe me, I'm glad you're comfortable around me. I'm just asking that once and awhile we step out of our normal routine and do something spontaneous for us, go skiing, go tubing on a speedboat, or take a Chocobo ride around the dessert."

"Skydiving?"

"Spontaneous, Squall, note insanely suicidal on my part, but yeah, think along those lines."

"I mean did you see that couple out there? Even then you were willing to take chances. Our whole relationship was a chance to you. Now it's not, it's something you're just used to… like you said it's comfortable."

He had a strange look on his face - even for Squall it was strange. He placed his hands behind his head and looked like he was thinking about something. Again, not sure what, but betting it had to do with either work or the Carbuncle's untimely demise. I would like to think it was about our relationship, but I had learned a long time ago not to get my hopes up about that.

"I liked the velvet bow in your hair."

Um…what? Did we just skip something here; was I possibly not involved in a conversation between us?

"What?"

"I just wanted to say that, that's all. You've worn one now for the last three Christmas Eve's."

Wow, that nervousness from earlier at his door was starting to return. I made the mistake of looking directly at him and he flashed me a quick grin. I could melt like a Blobra from the heat my body was starting to produce. I really needed to change the subject, as being trapped this close in proximity to him, especially with impaired thoughts due to sleep deprivation, was causing some rather… um… well, let's just go with I was having thoughts about him.

"Squall, have any ideas of how to get out of here yet?"

"Well, one... open the door."

Wow, Commander Genius, no wonder this guy makes the big bucks at Garden.

"Squall, what are we going to do, really?"

I watched as he stood up and moved over to the light switch, at least he seemed like he had an idea. He turned it off and I was awaiting further instructions from him, just as earlier in his dorm room. I managed to make my way to my feet. Maybe I should have told him to wait until I got my bearings before he turned off the light.

After delayed silence I final asked, "So what are we going to do?"

"This." I lost my balance as he grabbed me, pressing me against a wall. Okay, not the move I thought he was going to be making… but so much better.

"Your younger self was such a bad influence on me."

I had to laugh between his kisses and his statement. One thing I could say, Squall was definitely taking a chance on this instance.

Remind me to buy Carbuncle the greatest present ever. This was turning out to be a wonderful Christmas….


	5. Jingle Zells

**Authors Note**: Okay, here is the last chapter and end of this series and holiday tale – I was determined to get this story done by this year. Which meant posting by midnight December 31, 2007! I waited to the last possible minute, but it's done. Happy New Year's to everyone, here's looking forward to a wonderful 2008!

XXXXXX

_**~ Chapter Five: Jingle Zells ~ **_

XXXXXX

Now, I wouldn't want to bore you with all the details, but needless to say that after a while, we were ready to get back to our 'time.' Not to say that I wasn't having a good time here, in fact, it had actually been rather the opposite. I felt like I'd actually had a chance to talk with Squall and maybe we understood each other's perspective a little more. Still, there was no place like home, or like a comfortable bed, or well anything that wasn't a closet.

Squall appeared rather impassive about still being trapped in the past. There was one of two reasons: one, he knew how to get back and was no longer worried. Two, he had a secret fetish about being near countless cases of carpet deodorizer. I'm pretty sure it was the former. Pretty sure. Apparently, somewhere between the arguing and the – um…well… 'non arguing'… he must have devised a plan.

"Have everything?"

"Yeah," I answered taking a last look around. I would have commented about the fact that we were still dressed for bed, but I decided that wouldn't be the wisest move. I had on my sleeper set and Squall had thankfully (at least for him) worn boxers and a t-shirt to bed. This thing could have turned out a whole lot worse…_ a whole lot worse_. Apparently Carbuncle hadn't thought about our selection in nighttime attire, but then again, I guess GFs aren't really known for their fashion sense.

He nodded and gave me a quick kiss before turning off the light. I felt him reach for my hand and instinctively, I squeezed his fingers in nonverbal reply. I could have asked him where we were headed, but I trusted him. I also knew if I started asking a thousand questions I'd only end up irritating him. Of course _I had a thousand questions_, but like I said, I trusted him.

"We're going to the Training Center."

Training Center? Okay, now I really wanted to ask. I was hoping this had to do with getting back and not for some unnatural desire to train at a time like this. He wouldn't. Would he? I mean he… no, no, no. Of course not.

"Don't tell me you are taking me on that date that you've been promising me for six years."

I heard a small 'gruff' sound in response. "We need to use magic. I wouldn't want anyone to detect a magic signature if it can be avoided. Plus, I'm not even sure if this closet is still around in our time – we need to be somewhere I'm positive hasn't changed though the remodeling."

Again, wanted to ask more, but I'd figure it out in time. I hoped.

Opening the door a crack, he scanned the area before moving out. The next few minutes were filled with weaving, dodging, and basically feeling like an idiot. I actually had to hide behind a large potted plant. I'm glad it was Christmas Day, or this place would have been filled with hundreds of students. Luckily, most had either gone home to relatives or were currently somewhere that wasn't the main hallways. At least, no one was there to witness my not-so-good imitation of a fern.

It took us about twenty minutes to make it from one end of Garden to the other. I was so tired at this point, I could barely keep my eyes open, but somehow, I found the strength. I was also very much cursing the fact that I didn't have on either shoes or socks as that marble floor can be damn cold. Kurse Garden… I mean… curse Garden. Sorry, bad Ultimecia humor; it's a running joke with my friends, though Squall doesn't find much humor in the comparison between her and I. Not to mention, the woman was at least a foot taller than me… and two 'chest sizes' bigger as Irvine thoughtfully pointed out.

Anyway, the floor was ungodly cold. At a time like this, I should have 'borrowed' socks from Squall's old room. Chances are he would have never missed a pair; then again, he just might have had them numbered. Remember his cabinets of crystal and gravy boats? I wouldn't have wanted to put 'younger Squall' through a traumatic loss such as that.

Finally, we rounded the last corner and headed toward the left side door of the Training Center. Every year Garden closes one section or another for refurbishing - you know replanting and removing the huge amount of petrified T-Rexaur droppings. On this particular year, it was the left section. We were both about to breathe a sigh of relief after the door closed. Squall had even taken the time to scan the area first, I mean that is kinda what he does for a living. That's why it was a huge shock to both of us when a lone figure immerged from what appeared to be… yes, a large pile of T-Rexaur poop.

I don't think 'he' was as surprised to see 'us' as we were him. He was probably more embarrassed about being caught… digging though the 'dino droppings' himself. Of everyone we could have possibly run into – it was Zell. He fumbled some excuse about losing something during battle. I could barely make out the words 'Ma' and 'present' and suddenly I remembered what happened. Five years ago he thought he'd lost a silver medallion worn by his grandfather during a training session. He spent days searching for it, but only mentioned it to us after a week or so… Turns out he had forgotten that he'd given it to me do some research on the insignia. I actually had a lot of free time and enjoyed reading about history – there's really an interesting story behind it, but I'll spare you the details right now.

I started to open my mouth to tell him that I had it… well 'younger me,' but felt Squall's hand reach for my shoulder. He shook his head. I guess he was right, it's one of those things that you can't change history on. I would have to let Zell find out on his own.

Somewhere around this time, I think Zell actually noticed us. Sure, he had seen us when he first looked up…but I don't think he had really 'seen us.'

"Holy crap!"

Ah yeah, there was the reaction I was first expecting.

"You're old!"

Okay, that hurt. It was only twenty-two, did we look that bad?

"And you're wearing boxers!"

I'm pretty sure that last comment was aimed toward Squall.

"Zell, calm down," my boyfriend tried to rationalize.

"It's really you right? I mean it is… right? Squall, Rinoa?"

"Yeah Zell, it's us. Apparently Carbuncle has the ability to send us back in time, or something like that. I'm not exactly sure either."

"It's a spell." Squall finally answered sighing.

I could tell he didn't want to go through the long sordid explanation. But this was Zell and just leaving something that open ended wouldn't work. Actually, I was secretly glad Squall was going to have to give some details – I wasn't the one to ask, so it wouldn't be me that would get the 'eye roll of doom.'

"More precisely an extremely powerful version of his reflect spell. Apparently, he wanted us to remember our first Christmas together – literally. So he sent his five years into our past. I believe if we counteract it with Dispel we should return to our own time."

I could tell Zell wanted to ask so much more, but all he could do was scratch his head and stare at us. I started to feel very self conscious my appearance.

"So you guys are really like – still together?"

Squall and I exchanged glances; I think neither of us knew how to interpret that statement.

"Uh yeah," I finally answered. I kind of thought it wouldn't be that shocking. I mean sure Squall and I had our differences, but nothing that earth shattering.

"Wow… really?" Zell looked at both of us again realizing what he was saying. "I mean, that's great. So like you guys married?"

I wanted to laugh hysterically. I'm sure Squall wasn't thrilled. He could barely ask me to spend the night. I think the thought of marriage could possibly make him hyperventilate.

"No," he answered, actually a little more calmly than I would have guessed.

"Oh… so am I like married?"

"Zell, we can't tell you anything about the future." Squall was always the voice of reason.

"Tsk… fine." The martial artist started to look a little disheartened by Squall's answer, though we both know it was for the best. I think Zell started to interpret our silence as something more than it was. I mean, neither of were implying anything about the future, at least, we didn't think.

"Oh my god, I'm dead, aren't I? How did I die?" Zell nearly started to panic, I stepped forward trying to calm him down. Though by then, I don't think he was really listening to anything either of us would have to say.

"What did you bury me in, I mean, tell me it wasn't shorts. I mean I like them, but I don't want to spend eternity in them. Or my SeeD uniform… tell me you didn't bury me in that! It really itches and the pants are too short, I need to get them let out and-"

"Zell, no, nothing like that." I tried to interrupt though I guess he thought I was talking about his attire. This is not a conversation I thought I'd be having when I woke up this morning. Really.

"Well then what did you bury me in? My pajamas? Because really that would be the most comfortable. Tell me you buried me with my pillow and-"

Squall stepped forward angered by the whole thing. I know Zell's tirade was about the last thing he wanted to deal with right now. But to be fair, it couldn't have been easy on Zell. I'm not sure how I would have handled the situation if it had been reversed.

"Zell, you're not dead! Though, if you don't shut up, you might expire sooner than you'd like if you don't stop."

I knew I had to diffuse this bomb before it decided to explode any further. I had become rather good at this over the years, but the fact I was talking to an eighteen-year-old Zell made it a little more difficult. He was rather – well, he was different back then. We all were.

"Zell, I know this must be very difficult for you, I couldn't imagine it from your side. We're just afraid to give you any information about the future, it could change things. And honestly, I really like how things are – everyone is doing well. Without saying anything too specific, in the next five years we all grow a lot, but most of all, we're still family."

"Really?"

I nodded, I think he understood where I was coming from. Sometimes it just takes talking to him a little to help. Over the next five years, he would grow to become probably my closest friend, beside Squall. To me Zell was like a brother, of course, we also seemed to manage to get into the most trouble together. Remember that self mediation I talked about? Well, that was Zell's doing, he helped me through a lot of the rough times.

"So guys, like what if I wasn't supposed to see you and now everything has changed between all of us?"

I had to stop and think for a moment. I glanced at Squall who seemed to be wondering the same. I doubt he had thought about that specifically. Sure, I know he thought about the possible ramifications of this, but probably on a larger scale than just our little group.

Then it hit me, a few things about last night made a little more sense.

"You already knew."

I could see the confused look on both of the guys faces, though it was a little more difficult to read with Squall.

"So Rin, are you like saying that I knew this was going to happen? I guess that makes sense, I mean I know now, because you're here. But how come you didn't know that I knew or did you know that I knew, or who knew? I'm confused - who knew what?"

"I know I need to get out of here," Squall said dryly finding a log to sit on.

I had to smile even with my boyfriend's lack of enthusiasm. Last night I thought Zell was acting strangely, even for him. When Selphie first mentioned she needed someone to Carbuncle sit, Zell fumbled for an excuse. Now I realize he couldn't take care of Carbuncle, because then this might not have happened. He probably never knew _when _specifically we'd be sent into the past – just a rough estimate. But once the pieces fell into place, 'older Zell' could figure the timing out.

"Zell, this was supposed to happen and last night, you knew it was going to."

"I'm confused."

"Its fine, I promise. I think it everything will make sense in time. You just can't tell _anybody_ about this… especially us – I mean younger Squall and Rinoa." Wow that felt weird to say, not to tell myself something.

"Um… younger Squall and Rinoa?"

"Well, I mean younger than we are now… just don't tell _us_ okay?"

"Fine, but this really sucks, I just have to tell somebody. I mean, this is just wow… you're old!"

Okay, again with the age thing. I'm twenty-two… I'm so going to invest in anti-aging cream when we get back.

I think somewhere along the line Squall started to understand what I was getting at, either that or he fell asleep like the proverbial bump on a log. Sorry, had to say it. He still seemed to be rather quiet through this whole thing, which was kinda surprising. But I guess after tonight/today nothing should surprise me anymore.

"So anyway, how are you going to get back? Though it would be cool having two set of you around. I mean, which Squall would be commander and who would get the paycheck? Would I have to buy Christmas presents for both sets of you? Then again, could I get you the same thing? I mean you two and then my Rinoa and Squall. Oh, what would be really wild is if you guys ended up buying Christmas presents for each other, I mean like to Rinoa and Squall - from Rinoa and Squall."

Only Zell could think of something like that at a time like this, really. I mean the whole thing was just giving me a headache. Still, it makes you wonder: if I was buying a present for my past self, would I like it? And if I didn't like it, would I tell myself or would I not want to hurt my own feelings? Gah, look at what Zell had me thinking. What little sanity I had left apparently just ended up in the pile of T-Rex droppings.

"We could use your help."

I was thankful when Squall said something, at least he was still thinking rationally. It didn't take long for him to explain to Zell what we needed. Since Garden only used GFs on rare occasions, not everybody had access to their use or spells. Being a SeeD, Zell could easily get a hold of the Dispel magic we needed. I sat next to Squall on the log, not really knowing what to say. He seemed to be acting differently since we left the closet. I was starting to miss my old friends: mop and broom.

"Squall, everything all right?"

"Yeah, just a long day."

I felt like there was something more to it, but he'd tell me when the time was right. We didn't say anything more after that. It took about ten minutes for Zell to return with the magic. I was thankful that we were almost home. I'm not sure how much more of this day I could handle.

Squall had decided it was best to have Zell actually cast the spell on us, then if the magic was detected, there would be a somewhat logical reason for its use.

"So seriously guys, you can't give me any information about the future, not even a tidbit?"

"Sorry," I answered, "beside the fact that Squall and I are still together there's not much we can say."

"And I'm not dead. Right, you promise?"

I laughed. "Yes, I promise you're still alive and eating hot dogs."

"Ah ha!" I thought I had something terribly wrong the way he screamed that.

"I now know there are still hot dogs in the future. You did tell me something!"

Squall rolled his eyes and replied, "Yes, but there was a worldwide shortage about two years ago. It was tragic."

Of course I knew Squall was being his usual sarcastic self. He actually had a sense of humor that had emerged over the last years, though it was sometimes hard to detect. I could tell my boyfriend was growing more impatient by the second, we just needed to get out of here.

"Zell could you please just cast the spell?"

* * *

I barely had time to say goodbye to 'younger Zell' before the next thing I knew… I was being plunged into mucky, plant filled water. I would have screamed hadn't been for the fact that I was in shock. I managed to regain my bearings and make my way to the surface. I could feel someone next to me flailing body parts wildly. Little known fact: Squall isn't the best swimmer. His normally composed exterior apparently dissolved the minute he hit the swamp. I knew it was him by the words he was saying, which well, I just won't repeat.

"Three years…"

I heard a familiar voice say from above me. I looked up to see Zell and Carbuncle standing next to one another. We were still in the Training Center, but apparently had landed in the water. It took another minute for me to realize that Zell was…

"Zell, you're old!" I think I said that a little too emphatically, but really, he did have it coming. He didn't seem to listen to me; rather his attention was turned toward my boyfriend who was wearing that 'sexy drowned rat look' very well.

"Three years," Zell continued sounding a little more agitated. "Three years I actually stockpiled hot dogs at Ma's. Even bought a third freezer… because _someone_ said there was going to be a shortage. Then they got unplugged… rotten meat… very ugly."

I had no idea what he was talking about then it hit me, "Oh my god, you believed him?"

I started laughing as we both made our way out of the water. Apparently, younger Zell didn't know Squall's sense of humor, but looking back, I guess it would be easy to misinterpret. I had learned a lot about how we perceived things over the last hours; this was just another example of how all of us have grown over the years. Though… really, three freezers of hot dogs?

"Oh yeah… I believed him. And you…"

"Me?" Seriously, what did I do? It was literally about a three minutes ago and I couldn't remember… though apparently, it was something that Zell had remembered for five years.

"About my medallion."

"Oh… okay, yeah that. My bad, sorry?" Here I am again needing to apologize for something that happened five years ago. Well, five years ago to Zell anyway.

"Do you know after you left that I spent another three days going through T-Rex droppings… that's a whole lot of sh — well, you get the idea. You could have mentioned to me that you had it…but no, I still have nightmares and they're not pretty."

"Sorry?" I apologized again. Still I knew that not saying anything about its whereabouts was for the best. But again, if the roles had been reversed, I would have probably felt the same way.

"It's all right…" Zell smiled. "I had Carbuncle divert your landing spot into the water. We'll call it even now."

By this time Squall had made his way to the GF. I was actually afraid for the little guy. I mean after everything that had happened, not to mention Squall taking an unwanted bath in a swamp, I figured this didn't bode well for the green guy. At least there were no blenders in the vicinity. To my surprise, Squall actually talked to him.

"So, your Reflect just isn't for magical spells, is it? It's to reflect on everything."

Carbuncle cooed a few words, though I had no idea what he was saying. One of these days I'm going to get a Carbuncle _to everybody else _dictionary, for now, I'll just have to go with my gut instinct.

Squall nodded and then continued walking away. It occurred to me how much he really had progressed over the years. Then again, maybe he hadn't changed, but grown into the person he was today. Just maybe this year we could reflect on everything that brought us here. Together.

I said a quick goodbye to Zell and ran up to catch my boyfriend. He wasn't walking that fast, I figured he had been waiting for me to catch up. I didn't say anything to him as we continued on through the main hallway. Still, after five years, there was no carpet. I again cursed the invention of marble floors, but at least we didn't have to hide like before. I made it to where I needed to turn to get to my room, I figured that Squall had about enough of everything tonight and he certainly didn't need me to bother him. All my belongings were in my dorm anyhow and I too was wearing the 'drowned rat' look. Maybe it would be the next great fashion trend in Deling.

It was still night. The clock read about a quarter after four. Apparently our little journey into the past took no time in the future. Of course this did nothing for the fact that we had been up for several hours, even though in our time, it had all taken place in about fifteen minutes.

"Squall, I'll catch up with you sometime tomorrow."

"Angelo is still upstairs."

"She'll be fine, I'll just get her in the morning."

He seemed to look away for a moment. Maybe I had upset him. I really didn't think he minded having her stay over that much.

"Rinoa, I know Angelo doesn't care where she sleeps. It's not her I want to be there – it's you."

"What?" I really didn't think I heard him right. Never once had he said something so direct. I didn't mean to sound surprised, but after five years you just come to accept certain things. Of course, like I mentioned earlier, I had always wished he would ask me directly, but when he finally said it… I was honestly speechless.

"Stay with me tonight, please?"

"Okay," I answered smiling at him. I didn't say anything else as we dripped our way back to his place.

* * *

The next few hours were a blur. I know I made it back to Squall's apartment and he gave me a clean t-shirt to change into. I think I was asleep before my body hit the bed; both of us were extremely tired. I woke up the next morning, well… okay, it was actually afternoon. I thought I was losing it when I saw the clock read that it was after two. I slept through Christmas morning, and part of the afternoon. I noticed Squall was already gone. I wondered if he managed to get enough sleep before work. I'm not sure how that man does it sometimes, he really is amazing.

I sat up and stared at a very upset looking Angelo, apparently she was very hungry and I wasn't doing my civic duties of attending to her many needs. I wandered into the kitchen and found the spare dog food that was kept there. I always thought it was odd how Angelo actually had some belongings at Squall's and I didn't have anything. Still, having something of hers there was enough. Plus, quite frankly, she can be a lot more demanding than I am at times.

I made my way to the couch after fixing something to eat. I could have gone back to my room, but somehow, I just wanted to stay here. I was surprised when the door opened and Squall walked in. Maybe something was wrong. It was almost three and he had never come back this early.

"Something wrong?" I tried not to sound worried, but I couldn't help be concerned.

"Yeah, apparently there is a follow up documentary on the migration of Fungers. I heard the first one was really good, I couldn't bear to miss this one too."

I think we sat on the couch about an hour before both of us were asleep again. I mean Fungers, really… Trust me, you would also fall asleep. We woke up a few hours later, at least I did. Apparently, again Squall had been up for some time. I checked the clock and realized it was now a little past eleven.

"Here."

I looked over my shoulder to see Squall standing there with hot cocoa. I noticed he also had a mug for himself as he made his way over to the couch and sat next to me. I would say it felt like déjà vu, but after today, I think I'm going to be a little more careful when throwing that term around. Either way, this situation, this position, this cocoa, with Squall felt oddly familiar.

"I shouldn't, but I blame him."

"Huh?"

I was completely lost by his comment. At first I thought he was talking about Zell, but I wasn't sure what he would blame him for – well, beside the flailing limb-panic-stricken octopus impression my boyfriend ended up doing earlier in the swamp. It was classic.

"Carbuncle, I've always blamed him. I really shouldn't."

Then, all at once, I understood. He was telling me what I (and everyone else for that matter) had always wondered. Maybe the answer would be obvious once I heard it, but somehow, I doubted it was. I think it was easier for Squall not to use the 'it is obvious excuse' than to put his reasoning into words. I didn't respond, just set my cocoa down placing my head on his shoulder. I felt him wrap his arm around me, letting him continue in his own time.

"Deling… I blame him for what happened to you in Deling. I know it really wasn't his fault, but GFs can choose to serve, such as Ifrit did with me in the Fire Cavern. When the Iguions attacked you at the President Palace it… Carbuncle was there... I just-"

He paused, I could tell he was having a difficult time saying this. I never thought of it that way though, I barely remember anything after seeing Edea. I was in so much of a fog after I tried to place the bracelet on her… Basically, the next real thing I remembered was Squall standing over me.

"It's one thing to fight an armed adversary, but there's no honor in attacking someone who- well, could have been torn limb from limb without a damn chance. If Irvine and I hadn't made it in time… God knows what would have happened. Carbuncle was junctioned to them, it was his power… Maybe it is irrational to blame a GF. Maybe it would have been better to just admit I blamed myself."

"Squall, you couldn't have known what I was going to do… If the fault lies anywhere, it's with me and my stubbornness. I tend to have a few issues with that you know."

"I know, it's who you are. I just found it easier to blame Carbuncle than to face anything else I was feeling at the time. I guess that's how the animosity started. I just never let it go. I really should have."

"Well, it's not too late. Though, I'm not sure if that explains the 'Carbuncle incident' three years ago."

He kissed my neck softly. "Rin, we made an agreement _never_ to speak of that again, right?"

"Fine," I giggled. Still the memories of that day were priceless; its legacy, and the downloadable internet files would live far beyond this generation. "By the way, thanks for not killing him today."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't want to break my blender. How would we make the margaritas on New Year's."

"True."

"Speaking of which, Rin, do you have any major plans this New Year's Eve?"

I had to laugh; we had just made it through one holiday ordeal, now he was thinking about the next. Our usual night included drinking a few mixed drinks, eating pizza, and listening to Zell and Irvine argue about some obscure fact – only to make the traditional resolution at midnight: to be nicer to each other in the upcoming year. That promise was always broken within the first twenty minutes.

"Well, I usually meet up with my boyfriend and some friends, and just hang out."

"That… that sounds comfortable."

"It is. It's kinda a tradition."

"Traditions are good, but this year I want to try something more… spontaneous."

"It doesn't happen to involve heights and a parachute, would it?"

"Only if I can take a certain green GF with me. I would love to know if he can fly without a parachute."

Ah, there's the man I love so much. I know he couldn't have let today have gone by without a little bit of animosity, even if things had worked out better for everybody, with the possible exception of Zell. Three freezers? That's a lot of spoiled hot dogs.

"Rin, today between the time in the closet and running into Zell, it got me wondering. If we had been sent five years into the future, instead of the past, what do you think it would have been like?"

"Apparently, I would have been really, really old. Just not _old." _

It was his turn to chuckle. He had known all along that comment had gotten to me. "I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer. Seriously Rinoa, where do you think we'll be in five years?"

Wow, that was a hard question. I mean if I honestly stopped and thought about it. Really, what did I see for myself? What I would want - and what Squall would want - would be two different things entirely. Did I picture myself still living in one room? Did I see myself finding an actual career instead of just working a job? I couldn't give a definite answer on those things, only the most important…

"I'm not really sure. The only thing I know is that I still want to be with you."

"Nobody can predict the future, right?"

I felt him pull me closer as he echoed my statement from years ago. Sometimes I wish I hadn't said that. It comes back to haunt me at the most inopportune moments. The thing was, I knew that the sentiment remained the truth. Still, hearing it from him held an entirely different meaning then the night at Fisherman's Horizon.

I didn't respond, I guess part of me didn't know how to. Another part of me wanted to turn the question back on him, but I'm not sure if I wanted to hear his answer. I figured he'd have some lofty goals like becoming Garden's next Headmaster or having an entire dresser full of organized, alphabetized socks and underwear. Sure, I knew our relationship would still be important to him, but the fact was, we were still well… you know… day and night, Shiva and Ifrit, Zell and T-Rexaur droppings. You get it, right?

"So Rinoa, about this New Year's Eve, want to keep tradition and be spontaneous at the same time?"

I had to think about that one. I'm not sure what he wanted to do, unless it involved all of our friends riding Chocobos and drinking margaritas around the desert. Though the mental image of that was priceless, somehow, I doubt that was what he meant.

"The best of both worlds?" I finally answered noncommittally.

"Something like that. I don't want to wait another five years and look back at everything that could have been. Hearing Zell today, seeing how shocked he seemed at the fact that we were still together – I guess it's those doubts that have always held me back. Maybe I like things comfortable because there's no real fear in that."

I reached to the table and took a sip of my cocoa. This day had been so different; I couldn't begin to fathom all that had happened. Leaning back on him, I started to think about what we'd both be like in the future. He kissed the top of my head before he started talking again.

"I'm thinking on New Year's Eve maybe between the drinks, pizza, Triple Triad, and Irvine and Zell's arguing we could fit some time in to get married."

It took a second for all that to register in my brain, as I was originally stuck on the fact that he was going to allow a _Triple Triad_ deck anywhere within a three meter radius. And in the true graceful fashion everyone had come to expect from me, I moved my wrist allowing the contents of the cocoa to go streaming down my entire body, his leg, the leather sofa, and the carpet that he obsessively held dear.

We both shot up from the couch, though the liquid was luckily not at its hottest; it was enough to make us jump like we'd just been poked with Tonberry's knife. I couldn't believe the mess I'd just made of this situation. Leave it to me to be… well, to be me.

"Crap Squall, I'm sorry. I'll get something to clean this up-"

"It will wait. I can always dye the carpet cocoa brown. It was time for a change anyhow. Well?"

"That sounds like a perfect night."

I didn't know what else to say. Sure it might not have been the wedding I dreamed of as a child, but it was so much more. We didn't need all the formalities and show. We just needed our friends and each other. It was perfect.

"One condition," he smiled. "Carbuncle needs to be there."

"I agree. It's the least we can do for him after everything he did for us today."

"Actually, I was thinking after we're done making the drinks, I can finally toss that green cretin in the blender."

I love this man.


End file.
